I served in the Washington DC South Mission. I was to serve from June 2016- June 2018. I was only in the MTC for three weeks and was to ship out the following Wednesday. I came home because I personally was not ready for a mission. There were things I needed to take care of. During a Sunday devotional while in the MTC, it was said that "those who have repented cannot be stopped from sharing the gospel." I took his advice, called my branch president and met with him on Tuesday, then the district president on Wednesday and found out Friday I was going home. The hardest thing for me was coming home to my family because I felt like a disappointment and a failure. I felt I had lost every thing, from the girl I loved who was gonna wait for me to my faith. It felt like rock bottom.
After returning home, I was inactive for a year and had started to not wear my temple garments and just lost faith and my testimony was pushed aside. But towards Christmas a dear friend challenged me to put my garments back on and say and prayer! I prayed and I haven't taken my garments off since, I became more active in the church. I received my temple recommend again. But my biggest successes were being able to help strengthen the testimony of investigators and help the missionaries bring them to baptism! I realized my mission was here at home.
If I could tell anyone reading this that is looking for comfort and solace it would be that YOU ARE A RETURN MISSIONARY! Not an early return missionary, a returned missionary. You served honorably to the best you could given whatever circumstance! The lord loves you and is grateful for your sacrifice and your willingness to serve. I know that whatever you are going through, the atonement of Jesus Christ can and will allow you to feel whole again! It takes time and effort and time reading scriptures and praying but as we as missionaries know, in being humble before the lord he can work through us and in us to change ourselves and the world